How to make your partner/spouse love you the more

It is important that you to know what your partner loves and find pleasure in; to avoid being selfish and getting him/her bored, tired or frustrated about you, the relationship or marriage.

For words of affirmation; everyone love it and will be happy to be encouraged by words and to be appreciated for who they are and what they represent.

There are individuals that values the quality time you spend with them more than any other thing you can ever give. This understanding will create a comfortable and romantic environment for the love you share to grow.

Gift is a powerful tool for bringing a lasting memory and intimacy between lovers. Receiving gift as a language of love can’t be replaced with anything but rather be communicated well for effectiveness. Don’t be so selfish to ignore this aspect of the languages of love. Give it a try and the result will shock you.

Personally, I don’t like people working for me, like doing chores and doing certain cleaning up, I prefer doing it myself, so therefore; there is no way you will try to impress someone like me with this language or act of love that will really move me. I will appreciate it, but you have not really communicated love as far as I’m concerned, but for some people, this is the best thing you can do for them and they will conclude it to be the apex of your love for them.  

I beseech all single ladies to focus on this section of the languages more because it will save you from those nasty and common mistakes most young ladies make. Some think working for a guy will retain him, you are yet to marry and yet doing what a wife should do, such as; washing clothes, cooking and many other things. Focus here and you will see how you have missed it

If the person is someone like me whose love language is not act of service, if you like turn yourself to a house girl and do everything from now till next year. That is not a guarantee that I will marry you, and this is the pain of disappointment many young ladies are experiencing because their effort over time became a waste.

I’ve heard ladies says upon everything I did, yet he cheated on me, he will cheat because you lost your value, honour and dignity long time ago doing what you shouldn’t have done and men will always go for honour, dignity and pride

Some young ladies turns to sex machine because they want to retain and keep a guy, don’t worry, continue, he will soon give you his wedding invitation card with someone else. Nasty things ladies do because they are ignorant of the truth. And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free….1

For couples who don’t know the important of helping one another, wait to see reason why your marriage may hardly work out. Most people see the kitchen, house clean-up, laundry and all others that relates to chores as the assignment of the woman, while catering for the family, training the children with discipline, being responsible for family finance and others as the assignment of the man.

It is a general misconception and most especially in this part of the world, even though it is the responsibility of the woman to take care of the home, which should not turn her to a slave. If the above misconception about marriage, love and relationship is your ideology too, your marriage will hardly work out and productive.

Love language 4: The act of service
ref; The five love languages by Gary Chapman

There is a true life story I will paraphrase as much as I can for it is the best introduction I can give this teaching/post, please focus and you will see reason why many marriages is failing.

“I have a question,” he said. “Can a couple make it in marriage if they disagree on everything?”

This time Mary answered. “He wants me to stay home all day and work in the house,” she said. “He gets mad if I go see my mother or go shopping or something.” “I don’t mind her going to see her mother,” he said, “But when I come home, I like to see the house cleaned up. Some weeks, she doesn’t make the bed up for three or four days, and half the time, she hasn’t even started supper. I work hard, and I like to eat when I get home. Besides that, the house is a wreck,”

He continued. “The baby’s things are all over the floor, the baby is dirty, and I don’t like filth. She seems to be happy to live in a pigpen. We don’t have very much, and we live in a small mill house, but at least it could be clean.” “What’s wrong with him helping me around the house?” Mary asked. “He acts like a husband shouldn’t do anything around the house. All he wants to do is work and hunt. He expects me to do everything.”

“Mary, how old were you when you got married?” I asked. “I was eighteen,” she said. “We got married right after I finished high school. Mark graduated a year before me, and he was working.”

“During your senior year in high school, how often did Mark come to see you?” I inquired. “He came almost every night,” she said. “In fact, he came in the afternoon and would often stay and have supper with my family. He would help me do my chores around the house and then we’d sit and talk until supper time.”

“Mark, what did the two of you do after supper?” I asked. Mark looked up with a sheepish smile and said, “Well, the regular dating stuff, you know.”

“But if I had a school project,” Mary said, “he’d help me with it. Sometimes we worked hours on school projects. I was in charge of the Christmas float for the senior class. He helped me for three weeks every afternoon. He was great.”

Do we see how the guy failed after dating/courtship as the case is, and this is what most of us are doing, because you are dating today, you will continue to do all manner of things and your partner will conclude that you are the best in the world and immediately after wedding, you’ll turn to someone else.

“What else do you disagree on?” I asked. “Well, she wants me to go to church all the time. I don’t mind going on Sunday morning, but Sunday night I like to rest. It’s all right if she wants to go, but I don’t think I ought to have to go.”

I switched gears and focused on the third area of their disagreement. “Mark, when you were dating, did you go to church with Mary on Sunday nights?” “Yes, I did,” he said. “If I didn’t go to church with her, I couldn’t see her that night. Her father was strict that way.”

I thought I was beginning to see some light, but I wasn’t sure Mark and Mary were seeing it. I turned to Mary and asked, “When you were dating Mark, what convinced you that he really loved you? What made him different from other guys you had dated?” If you focus on this short story being the introduction of this aspect of the series, you will really detect the things you are doing now and the state of your mind for marriage, and reasons why you are likely to fail if you marry tomorrow

Married people also should sit and check this well to see if peradventure this is why your marriage is failing…. Hmmmm love and marriage is beyond feelings and affection, if that is all you have, I have to tell you the truth; you are likely to fail. She answered: “It was the way he helped me with everything,” she said. “He was so eager to help me. None of the other guys ever expressed any interest in those things, but it seemed natural for Mark. He even helped me wash dishes when he had supper at our house.

He was the most wonderful person I had ever met. Let us pause and examine what made Mark the most wonderful person to Mary and the point where Mark lost that attribute, do we see why many relationship will fail when they marry. But after we got married that changed. He didn’t help me at all.” Turning to Mark I asked, “Why do you think you did all those things for and with her before you were married?” “It just seemed natural for me,” he said. “It’s what I would want someone to do for me if she cared about me.”

“And why do you think you stopped helping her after you got married?” I asked. “Well, I guess I expected it to be like my family. Dad worked, and Mom took care of things at the house. I never saw my dad vacuum or wash the dishes or do anything around the house. Since Mom didn’t work outside the house, she kept everything spotless, did all the cooking, washing, and ironing.

And I guess I just thought that was the way it was supposed to be.” Hoping that Mark was seeing what I was seeing, I asked, “Mark, a moment ago what did you hear Mary say when I asked her what really made her feel loved by you when you were dating?” He responded, “Helping her with things and doing things with her.”

I will stop here for this post and continue in the next post

Don’t miss the continuation of this post, subscribe with your email to get notification of new posts.

If this post blesses you, don’t forget to subscribe and also drop a comment in the comment box. Thank you

Reference

John.8:32.......1