Gbam!!! Friend with benefit

There are many errors in our lives that we would have avoided if we were wise, intentional, conscious and disciplined enough, there are certain mistakes we made in the past that shouldn’t have been made and wouldn’t have been made if we had placed priority on that which matters. Lots of people are out of course today, many are grounded all because they lack the knowledge and understanding of the truth. What of this rampant and high rate of suicide in the society today all because of unnecessary pressure from family, peers and the society at large. This post will really bless you that you will be inspired and challenged to share it with your loved ones. Follow to the end!!!

From the beginning of this series which was titled sex, pleasure and pain, we realized that God initiated sex and it is for the benefit and pleasure of men but had been widely abused and used against its purpose and beyond the pleasure is the place of pain which set in due to its abuse and misplacement of priority in terms of relationship, marriage and sexual intimacy.

We shall continue with point two from where we stopped at point one which is ungodly relationship, and how it has influenced our lives, personality, purpose and destiny was concisely treated and addressed for its impact to be at maximum because understanding is the mother of manifestation that birth light, encounter and freedom.

2. Friends with benefit and friends with no impact: This aspect is divided into two and I will like to take them one after the other which will be connoted with (a) and (b)

a. Friend with benefit: To be candid and if we will be sincere with ourselves, this has been the reason why many lost their relationship with God and that has caused them to be entangled in that wrong relationship and even had jeopardize some individuals relationship and marriage

We are friends and nothing more, but you are opposite sex and often time do what should not be captured in friendship, it’s not a crime that you be friend with an opposite sex but boundaries; I repeat boundaries must be created because you are not stone. You are just friends and nothing more but you stay alone together most times, you pay visits and stay till late in the night, you sometimes stay over till the morning, you share many things together (like emotions, pains, meal, gadgets, even bed) yet you are just friends as people always says and you continually blame the devil for your fall, don’t you think?

If I was the devil, I will slap many individuals at the point of relating certain issues that never concerns me with me; haven’t you seen people that started relationship without any proposal but based on assumption because their friendship was not intentionally guided and their heart was left unguarded which is very dangerous and this caused their vulnerability. Keep thy heart with all diligence;  for out of it are the issues of life….1

Stop thinking like a child (When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child:  but when I became a man, I put away childish things….2) rather behave like one who is mentally sound, give yourself to understanding, maturity, dignity, integrity, and sound doctrine that is worthy of building you up and give you an inheritance among them that are sanctified….3

Many people have had sex with several people that they are never in a relationship with let alone marriage, we were just together that night and it was cold; I only paid a visit and I did not know how it happened; you won’t know how it happened because you are gullible enough to have being deceived by the so called emotion and atmosphere

Don’t portray the character of dog or chicken that has no regard for their body and their coverings, they do it anywhere with anyone. Have dignity, be intentional about making the temple of the father holy and let the bed never be defiled before marriage because Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled:  but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge….4

What of married men, when you defile that matrimonial bed, you have sinned against your body, your spouse and God, integrity is very gainful, even when your wife is not there, remember Joseph; how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?....5  

b. Normal friend: let me be brief on this: There are people that don’t worth being your friend; they have being the one causing you one trouble or the other over the years and you are still with them; doing what?

They have no good advice, they are as bad as the devil; you tell them this lady is showing interest somehow, she even told me she will be coming around soon and all they can tell you is; opportunity comes but once, if you don’t use it now, you may not get it again, what is the opportunity here; does that look like a job recruitment opportunity or Visa lottery. Select your friends like beans, if you ever want to please God and live a fulfilled life by grace, you have to select your friends, it is not pride, get likeminded people that are godly, intentional about destiny and that will contribute to your spiritual growth and maturity.

Friends that when you are getting confused about life, and lust of the flesh is setting in, they can quickly and easily call your attention to it. Remember you are a product of the average five people that you give your attention to the most, if they are ungodly by any means, I can assure you that sooner or later, you will become like them. Friendship is not by force but by choice, select your friends.

3. Peer pressure: Peer pressure had caused misfortune for many and made the life of many people to be miserable, and the most painful aspect is that, those people that put the pressure on you will no longer be there when the repercussion and the agony the pressure had caused surfaced as a result of thing you got yourself engaged in because of one pressure or the other

How many people started a relationship wrongly at a very tender age and got abused, messed up, destroyed ignorantly because they just wish to feel among. I remembered long time ago; A young lady shared with me her experience when she fell in love at a very tender age. The boy in question wasn’t serious with her but because she wanted to be loved and have someone, she continued. The “boy” messed her life up, deflowered her, left her and after few months, she realized she was pregnant, she aborted the pregnancy and was bleeding for close to three week to the point that she almost lost her life and her parents never noticed till today.

This to the parents: God has given you this responsibility to keep and nurture your children, they belongs to God but they have been given to you as your sheep’s and you as their shepherd, if you  fail in parenting, you have failed in life and you have failed God. Many parents today are very harsh, negligence and have this nonchalant attitude towards their children. Please pray for grace to change and become better.

Don’t ever be under any pressure to prove any point to anyone, let the scriptures be the compass that guides your life, if they are starting a relationship and you are not ready based on your growth and convictions, leave them, let them continue, don’t be under any pressure to have one because others has. If you are not yet convinced to get marry, don’t be under any pressure because you friends are married, there is time and season for everything and everyone

You are not them and your destiny differs, what you carry as destiny may require a lot of sacrifice that you just have to focus on God and your destiny, if you are not ready for a relationship and you start one, it will be a serious distraction and it will ruin you.

Enjoy your singleness, don’t be under any pressure I repeat. You are 25 years and yet single, your are 30 and yet single, don’t be under any pressure and jeopardize your destiny, how many people are married today and hoping to be single again. It can be very burdensome and painful I know, but it doesn’t work ruining your destiny for. Wait diligently on God and never push yourself, not even family pressure should push you into hell as a result of having a relationship or getting married, enjoy your own company and keep your relationship with God. He will settle you

4. Society blunders: Our society, culture and traditions had intentionally and ignorantly pushed many naive individuals into fire. The society had painted a picture of if you are 25 as a lady and you are not married, you are doomed which is not true, they believed if you are a guy at age 25 and you don’t have car, a house of your own and a big business or fat salary job, you are lazy which is not very true. Though those things are wonderful and should happen on time but if they are not there yet, it is not a yardstick to ruin oneself in the name of trying to prove a point, make sure you are investing in yourself, be diligent and hardworking, love God and trust Him to change your life for better. Better days are ahead

I am not encouraging mediocrity but also, we must understand that external things only should not define the success of a man, everyone has his or her own dealings with God, many happened as a result of family background, and lots of life challenges caused many to be at this level even. though many are lazy but not everyone

And if this is not well addressed and treated, we will continue to push our own people into frustration, pains, and suicide which is very rampant this days and it is as a result of this unnecessary demand and pressure the society is imposing on people with their wrong ideologies

Please don’t be under any pressure to prove any point to anyone, make sure you are not a mediocre, do you best, love God and be diligent that you may stand before kings, but don’t let societal pressure push you into sudden death or frustration of compromising your conviction (faith).

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Reference

Prov. 4:23.......1

1Cor. 13:11.......2

Act 20:32.......3

Heb. 13:4.......4

Gen. 39:9b.......5