How to relate with in-laws and extended family

Your relationship with your in-laws and extended family being the second focusing area is very important.

Many people are at the verge of getting married, some are married and some are hoping to get married soon but never discussed this crucial areas of marital life, or probably have a conscious and an intentional thought/meditation on the subject matter

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1. Preparing for marriage in marriage (child rearing)

How do I relate with your family after marriage? How do you relate with mine? How do we relate with them as a family?

Majority of ladies have always longed for me and my husband kind of home and the so called husband/husband to be had never discovered this kind of trait or desire in the so called wife/wife to be, because their preparation wasn't balanced. If this is you as a lady, please wake up from that dream of impossibility.

Years ago, I started developing a system of relation, of how my siblings and my wife should relate, my mum and her, me and her siblings and parents too. All this had been captured in my planning in the past years while single and searching and should be captured in yours too, which must be well communicated before marriage. (This can be corrected if you are married and you see the need. Pay attention.)

Your extended and your immediate family (spouse and children) should relate like nothing less than being brothers, sisters, parent to daughter/son and so on. The love that bounds your immediate family and extended family should be well defined, monitored and nurtured to maturity

Remember that there are people in his/her life before you join the equation, find a way to blend and increase the bond and not to separate him/her from them. Don’t start having the urge and feeling of having your partner only to yourself by doing away with all his family and loved ones.

Put yourself in that shoe, imagine your elderly ones or younger ones getting married and the spouse says he/she don’t want to see or have anything to do with you and your family members, will that sound nice and good to you. This is the mindset of many people and it is a very terrible and bad one. Change it now and live a wonderful life of unity with your immediate family and loved ones.

HOW TO DEVELOP A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR INLAWS?

1.       Love them the way you love your own family

2.       Learn about individual differences to be able to relate well with them

3.       Create systems of relation but not to be vulnerable

4.       Value and show them so much love and not pretense (be genuine)

5.       Don’t be proud or arrogant to your in-laws, humility is a virtue, earn it.

6.       Don’t be inferior to any of your spouse family members, you are a blessing to them and should be treated like one

7.       Be kind, loving, accommodating and intelligent in communication for your good deed not to be ill spoken of and so on.

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3. Marriage (the vision, the journey and the future)

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