There is popular saying
which has caused many people to fail in many areas of their lives including
martially and yet it never occurred to them what this has caused to their lives
due to ignorance and negligence
The saying that, when we get to the river,
we will know how to cross; the
truth is that you may perish in that water if you haven’t prepared a good plan
to cross ahead of time. I've seen great people, handsome, beautiful and
extremely valuable people failed martially because of this wrong ideology.
Many have never said it out but this is
the mindset which they approached relationship and marriage with, while paying
lots of attention to other areas of life such as business, career, job and many
more.
How do we do this? When we get there, we
will know how, after-all we are not there yet or we have not gotten married yet
and so on
If this is who you are, please pay
attention, if you know someone who this is their state of mind as regards their
relationship and marriage, please bless them by sending them the link to this
post as an act of love and benevolence.
No military man who values his life ever
learn how to shoot on the battle field, if it ever happens, then such
individual will definitely perish with such battle. No one prepare for marriage
in marriage and become successful as expected. Rather marriage is prepared for
before the time and season of solemnization and will continue forever.
To prepare means to make ready, suitable or equip in
advance for a particular purpose. In advance and not while the purpose is at
hand, you prepare before and not in or during. Once it is in the process or
during, then it is no longer PREPARING for and this is what most people do.
Even though marriage preparation cannot be exhausted, yet there is need for
adequate preparation before marriage which will continue for as long as they
are both living.
Many people, pursue and run after career,
finance and vision, they get prepared for any and every occasion or activity related
to their career, ministry and vision etc., they read books, attend business
seminars and all, in fact go for mentorship trainings and neglect the place of
equipping themselves relationship wise, which includes marital life and
experience
Imbalance is very dangerous and this has
killed, ruined and jeopardize many lives and relationship over the years and
will still continue to destroy others if the required understanding of this
subject matter is not acquired.
Your program planning and event for each
year is being well structured and put in place before time, and all you are
waiting for is the date of execution and you are excited and really
anticipating it.
But you are getting married next year or
soon as the case may be, but have no structured plan for the home to be and not
just the ceremony
Your wife is pregnant,
no intentional and genuine plan for the unborn child
We believe those areas
should happen by default and men continue to fail day by day which has caused
many people unbearable pains to say marriage is a scam, is
that true?
Part of the problem
causing our relationships and marriages to fail is misplacement of
priority and imbalance. I drew inspiration and insight from the life
and experiences of two well-known and very popular great men which serve as an
unforgettable example for me and has been the source of my craving, longing and
strive for balance as far as relationship, marriage and career is concerned
A very popular, God
loving, famous and great man called Eli was really successful
in his world; business, career and ministry to the point that no one ever spoke
of him badly.
He was really intentional
about his assignment on earth, ministry, career and purpose in life but was
nonchalant and seemed to be less concerned about his martially life.
There came a time and
season in his life when he was supposed to rest, be happy and eat of the fruit
of is labour, and this was when the nemesis of his old time negligence caught
up with him; Now the sons of Eli were sons of Belial; they knew not the
LORD….1 And because of this, they were rejected by God and the people
of Israel, despite the fact that their father was a priest, a great man,
influential and successful, but he failed in the area of parenting and marriage
generally.
Prophet Samuel was fully
aware of the above, because when God rejected the house of Eli due to what the
sons did, he was the one God sent to replace them, but yet never learnt from
all that happened to Eli, and Samuel’s sons were rejected as well and this is
why the people of Israel cried and requested for a king against God’s plan and
intentions for Isreal
When a man fails
relationship or marriage wise, it will definitely tell on the family, the
children and will by all means have negative effect on that generation and
lineage. Do we see what imbalance can do to the life of anyone who plays and
joke with it?
5 major areas where you have to prepare yourself well before marriage and not preparing/struggling with it in marriage
Note: Married ones should pay
attention to this also because it is not too late to correct mistakes/errors
1. Child rearing:
Most of our parents tried their best, in fact they did all they could do to
raise well trained, nurtured, godly, balanced and successful generation of
people (children), but the truth is that most of them respectfully speaking
failed in this aspect. They tried, but success in child rearing goes beyond
trying, it has and must become a success before you can be called a success.
Anyone can try but not everyone will take that mountain and subdue it.
Most
of us are victims of this failures, they were hardworking, sincere and loving,
they cared so much about what we wear, eat, house, tuition fee, comfort but
were never intentional about how we were trained. The default system of the
society in training a child/children was adopted and we became just like other
children in our environment because we were all influenced by the same system.
It
happened to them according to chance, lots of our parents regrets not paying
attention to those things even before marriage but by the time they realized it,
it was late
Child
rearing and upbringing is not what should happen to you, you should happen to
it, there are systems and conscious decisions that should be made about how to
train a child according to gender and not just things happening according to
the time of life, environment, society or every other systems that can
contribute to the training and psychological growth of a child by default.
I
love teenagers and I have an unending passion for them and this passion caused
me to pay more attention to them, give them my time and a listening ear each
time they have things to say, and with my little experience in teenagers
ministry, I discovered that many parent had failed in this area of child
rearing because many don't even know their children. All they know about them
is face, complexion and things that can be seen
It
is important that every parent is intentional about how their children are
being trained from day 1 after birth and not it happening by default.
No success comes by
default, you have to know what you are doing and why you are doing it!!!
I came across a book and
there I discovered that the level of brilliancy of your children depends on
what they were exposed to right from birth till age 5
Also that the destiny of
a child can be determined basically by the first 7 years encounters of his or
her life. But many parent don't know this, they just allow things to happen to
their kids while focusing only on making ends meet
You must have a well and
intentional structured system built for your children upbringing
How do you train them
from age 1-5, 6-10 and so on?
They way you train a
small child should not be the same approach for teenagers and adult
Please take note and be
conscious
Your children are your
future, build it well and intentionally
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Reference
1 Sam 2:12…….1
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