How to become irreplaceable in your relationship 2

It is a truth that has been established that many suffered heartbreak and divorce of all kind because they can easily be replaced by their partner, how will you feel if your partner says to you that he/she can't afford to lose your regardless of situations, limitations and weaknesses. It is possible but will not happen only by wish

The content of the posts on this blog are not cunningly devised feeble but life applicable truths (And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free….1) that the effect of it on your life and relationship when truly and consciously engaged will make you a true success beyond measure.

I hereby challenge you to prioritize the posts here, make them a pathway to life and wait to see what God will turn your life to. When character is built first, every other thing that will follow will be from glory to glory and you will be shocked to see how your life will change for better.

In the part one of this series; I made it known that being competent is doing what you know how to do in an exceptional way and I related it to our relationship, even though it is factual topic under personal transformation. We stopped at point three examining the core areas at which every individual must be competent for a sustainable life and relationship. To continue with are the following points 

4. Intelligence: Every individual must pray to God for intelligence and work so hard to possess this exceptional quality. Only your beauty/handsomeness won’t sustain your marriage, you must be very intelligent and wise. If wishes were horses, even the slaves will ride. You don’t only wish to be intelligent or wise; it can be imparted by the virtue of alignment, hunger and honour for the carrier of this grace, and also can be derived by a consistent study and investment in mental development.

Many started a relationship and depend totally on their partner for advice, support and many other things, they have nothing to add or contribute. This is a big sign that your love story will soon end, because you will end up being replaced uninformed.

Your partner approached you to advice him/her on a subject matter and all you have to say is;”anything you do is good”. This is a sign of foolishness, if he/she had concluded on what to do; he/she wouldn’t have approached you. This is the kind of life most young people are living, including married men and women. All they know and embraced over years is love and love. Be intelligent, if you are the type that your partner doesn’t relate issues with you, it may be that you aren’t impressive over years with your responses

And due to that experience, the young man or woman had concluded that asking you or waiting for your contribution is a waste of time. You have to repent after this post (teaching) out of mediocrity by praying, studying and working so hard to be intelligent and crave for wisdom. Else, you may lose your home. Wisdom is the principal thing;  therefore get wisdom:  and with all thy getting get understanding.   Exalt her, and she shall promote thee:  she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace her.   She shall give to thine head an ornament of grace:  a crown of glory shall she deliver to thee….2

5. Communication skill: In previous posts, I explained this point in relation to oratory as a skill that everyone must possess. But for the purpose of this competence series, I will narrow it to the highest psychological need of every man which can be best expressed with”peoples’ skills”

What is peoples’ skill? It is the ability of an individual to know the psychological need of relationship and be able to communicate it genuinely and excellently

The greatest psychological need of human being is the need and hunger to be loved, valued and appreciated, if you can’t communicate this genuinely, your marriage or relationship is heading toward a crash

The five (5) words to master in communicating this feelings (peoples’ skills):

1. Please: This word is so powerful, it means you are enlightened. It is a communication of courtesy and a system that communicates regard. It is not a sign of mediocrity or belittling oneself. It is more powerful when you communicate it to someone who considers himself lower than yourself. Most people don’t just like the word please, they are so arrogant and proud and this is why they are dying in silence. You can’t tell your wife please or you can’t say it first to your partner, why? Embrace transformation today before it crashes your relationship/marriage!!!!

2. I am sorry: This communicates regret; it communicates the fact that we all make mistakes. It unashamedly expresses your humanity and the fact that you can be wrong. I tell my students, mentees, younger ones and partner sorry when I realize I am wrong. And each time I do this, I can feel the joy that feels their heart. It is not just saying sorry nonchalantly; that is pride and arrogance, but rather says; I AM SORRY

3. Thank you: This word is more or less like a wife to me, in fact, close friends complain much that I should stop thanking them for everything, but I can’t just stop because I’ve learnt and discovered the gravity of its effect.

Pastor Sam Adeyemi of Day star Church says when I buy something, pay for it and I receive it; I tell the person thank you. And after saying the thank you, I feel so good for saying it. Don’t say after all, I paid for it and what is the need for saying thank you. There is every need for it

Anytime an act of love or benevolence is communicated to you, always show appreciation for it no matter the number of time (In everything give thanks:  for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you….3) Train yourself on this and make it your default state both towards God and men. More so, gratitude must be specific; don’t approach someone and say thank you; for what? Be specific enough to buttress it like; Thank you for the biscuit, I really appreciate.

Gratitude should always be lavishly and sincerely communicated. Gratitude is the seed for more. It is the last digit of the faith equation 

4. God bless you: This is an opportunity to prophesy into peoples’ life. Blessing people empowers them to prosper (And the spirit entered into me when he spake unto me….4), therefore do it intentionally and as much as you relate with people. As a father it should be a daily practice over your family.

5. I love you: Although our society has twisted the whole concept of LOVE to beceome something else, it’s a very powerful concept especially where there is godliness and reverence for God. To the pure, all things are pure….5. The communication of love for the people should be pure and genuine without not necessarily having a strings attached and without any reservation.

This is what is missing among the people and most especially the Church today, once people hear the word I love you, they tag you to be carnal immediately which is not so, come and see how I lavish love on my mentees, students, loves ones and even neighbours; and they truly believed because my integrity had been really proven.

To people in this part of the word; use this phrase to someone only when your track-record of your integrity has been proven in order not to put yourself in trouble (wisdom is profitable to direct….6)

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Reference

John 8:32…….1

Proverbs 4:7-9…….2

1Thess. 5:18…….3

Ezekiel 2:2…….4

Titus 1:15…….5

Ecc. 10:10b…….6