Why you should touch your partner in relationship/marriage

Your words may mean little, but your physical touch will communicate that you care. Crisis provides a unique opportunity for expressing love. Your tender touches will be remembered long after the crisis has passed. Your failure to touch may never be forgotten.

Why do we hug to end crisis or misunderstanding in relationships? Because physical touch is a powerful communicator of love. In a time of crisis, more than anything, we need to feel loved. We cannot always change events, but we can survive if we feel loved.

When family or friends are visiting or you are among loved one, touch your partner/spouse in their presence. Putting your arm around him as you stand talking, or simply placing your hand on her shoulder says, “Even with all these people in our house, I still see you.” This understanding and reality is really missing in many relationships and marriages.

This topic is very controversial and mostly in the religious settings, whereby there are many and different denominational believe on how prospective and married couples should deal when it comes to physical touch. And little attention had been given to this aspect generally speaking. This is seldom taught in our religious communities because it is mostly seen as carnality.

Some of our Christian faith believed that prospective couples should not even shake hands let alone holding hands before marriage. I’m not against their perception or believe system, but it is my assignment generally speaking to unveil the importance of physical touch in relationships

Lots of people had been indoctrinated and some by ignorance always think and believe that physical touch in its context and relating to relationship is or should only be navigated towards sex or romance which is not true. Talking about physical touch in relationship don’t mean immorality or carnality. You will understand the power of physical touch in relationships after digesting this post and your paradigm will be shifted for productivity in your relationship/marriage

I’m not being sarcastic about different believe systems, but rather to point areas where we really need to pay attention as far as relationship and marriage is concerned. Else, we will join the large number of people out there crying for breakup/divorce when the love and intimacy they seek and crave for is absolutely missing.

Not physical touches that will tempt your partner if you are yet to marry, and for the married ones; how important is physical touch which you neglect in your marriage had been a barrier on your intimacy. Physical touch has little to do with sexual intercourse and intimacy but has all to do with the body coming in contact; it may be hand to hand (holding of hands), resting on one another, hugging and many more.

We have long known that physical touch is a way of communicating emotional love. Numerous research projects in the area of child development have reached that conclusion (Gary Chapman)

Babies who are held, hugged, and kissed develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact. Physical touch is also a powerful vehicle for communicating marital love. (Gary Chapman)

Holding hands, kissing, embracing, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s spouse. For some individuals, physical touch is their primary love language. Without it, they feel unloved. With it, their emotional tank is filled, and they feel secure in the love of their spouse. (Gary Chapman)

Love language 5; Physical touch

ref; The five love languages by Garry Chapman

Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hatred or love. To the person whose primary love language is physical touch, the message will be far louder than saying “I hate you” or “I love you.”

A slap in the face is detrimental to any child, but it is devastating to a child whose primary love language is touch. A tender hug communicates love to any child, but it shouts love to the child whose primary love language is physical touch; every parent should learn and know this. The same is true of adults.

Once you discover that physical touch is the primary love language of your spouse, you are limited only by your imagination on ways to express love. Some individuals enjoys walking with them and holding their hands, it communicate love and intimacy to them more than sex, this must be well understood to best communicate love to such individuals

The Body is for Touching

Whatever there is of me resides in my body. To touch my body is to touch me. To withdraw from my body is to distance yourself from me emotionally. In our society shaking hands is a way of communicating openness and social closeness to another individual.

There are appropriate and inappropriate ways to touch members of the opposite sex in every society. The recent attention to sexual harassment has highlighted the inappropriate ways. Also for intending couples who are envisaging marriage, there is a limit to the kind of touch they can extend to one another; it should not extend beyond hands, leaning, hugs and likes. Within marriage, however, what is appropriate and inappropriate touching is determined by the couple themselves, within certain broad guidelines.

Physical abuse is of course 100% deemed inappropriate by society, and social organizations have been formed to help the “battered wife” and the “battered husband.” Clearly our bodies are for touching, but not for abuse.

Never think of this touching concept to mean immorality, when you hold hands; it is still touching, when you hug; it is still touching, and for couples; when you kiss, rest on each other, bath together and helping your spouse to scrub the body, it is still touching. Touching necessarily mean not sexuality.

That trauma of laxity in touch, however, is compounded for the individual whose primary love language is physical touch. That for which he longs so deeply to be expressed by physical touch is now being given to another. His emotional love tank is not only empty; it has been riddled by an explosion. It will take massive repairs for those emotional needs to be met.

Crisis and Physical Touch Almost instinctively in a time of crisis, we hug one another. Why? Because physical touch is a powerful communicator of love. In a time of crisis, more than anything, we need to feel loved. We cannot always change events, but we can survive if we feel loved.

Disappointments are a part of life. The most important thing you can do for your mate in a time of crisis is to love him or her. If your spouse’s primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than holding her as she cries.

Imagine one crying alone and the other crying on a loved one’s arm, they are crying absolutely but one will be healed faster and get over the hurt faster than the other, that’s how human had been configured by default. Learn this and your partner/spouse will ask you what has happened to you lately.

Lots of married individual are not enjoying physical touch in their marriage at all, and for this reason, their emotions had drifted apart long time ago. They hardly hug, kiss, bath together and even lean on each other. All they care for is their job, children, business and likes. You can’t build a lasting romantic intimacy with your spouse in such manner.

Your words may mean little, but your physical touch will communicate that you care. Crisis provides a unique opportunity for expressing love. Your tender touches will be remembered long after the crisis has passed. Your failure to touch may never be forgotten.

Recall some nonsexual “touching times” that enhanced intimacy between the two of you. What made these times special?

If your spouse’s love language is PHYSICAL TOUCH:

1. As you walk from the car to go shopping, reach out and hold your spouse’s hand.

2. While eating together, let your knee or foot drift over and touch your spouse.

3. Walk up to your spouse and say, “Have I told you lately that I love you?” Take her in your arms and hug her while you rub her back and continue. “You are the greatest!” (Resist the temptation to rush to the bedroom.) Untangle yourself and move on to the next thing.

4. While your spouse is seated, walk up behind her and give her a shoulder massage.

5. When you sit together in church, when the minister calls for prayer, reach over and hold your spouse’s hand while you both pray. It encourages and birth more conviction for an answered prayer

6. Initiate sex by giving your spouse a foot massage. Continue to other parts of the body as long as it brings pleasure to your spouse.

7. When family or friends are visiting, touch your spouse in their presence. Putting your arm around him as you stand talking, or simply placing your hand on her shoulder says, “Even with all these people in our house, I still see you.”

8. When your spouse arrives at home, meet him or her one step earlier than usual and give your mate a big welcome home. The point is to vary the routine and enhance even a small “touching experience.”

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